Growing through loss: A good resource

Since losing my mother, I often think of grief, loss, suffering, pain, death, etc. It's been hard not to, considering this is the company in which her absence left me. The good thing about this is that it has led me to some great books which has sparked thoughtful meditation, prayer, and good conversations between Ryan and I. We talk about suffering, pain, and loss in ways we probably never would have before. We talk about and prepare for these things as though they will happen, not as though they might happen. We know suffering is inevitable. And it comforts me that we both long to face suffering and loss w/ dignity, grace, faith, and most importantly w/ an understanding of the eternal.

I recently started reading an amazing book that is impacting me and how I think about loss. I feel like it is so important to face these things and learn about them... for as I do, it forces me to think about things I would rather not... which ultimately leads me to God and reminds me that my life is about Him... not Ryan, family, friends, health, etc. It forces me to think about how I can be a better person despite inevitable loss... and how my perspective on life really needs a paradigm shift.

I found this book several weeks ago on Molly Pipers' blog and since I've got my hands on it - I can't put it down or stop thinking about it. It's called A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser. I've felt compelled several times to share what I've read or what it is bringing up for me. He addresses a lot of important themes that people experiencing loss face. He amazes me by his ability to describe so accurately what one goes through and feels... but then how one can grow from all the pain and suffering. Some of the themes that have hit me most are (in my own words):

• Engulfed in darkness... the finding of light
• The gift of pain
• Embracing the present moment w/ the shadow of the distant past and a different future
• Identity loss and the formation of a new identity
• Redemption of the regrets

... and I'm only half way through the book! These are all things I hope to discuss here. So... perhaps this is the beginning of a new series if I get/make the time to write about it. This book has come at a good time for me, as I'm in a season of denial or 'not dealing w/' in regards to my mother's absence - hence why I still haven't finished her cancer story. So, I will seek God in trying to understand this darker side of life and attempt to share my thoughts and feelings as my soul continues to grow through this loss.