Deep calls to deep

Ryan and I have recently joined a small group that has been very good for us. Since we’re new to the group it was sort-of a requirement to share your ‘story’. This past week was my turn. I had mixed feelings about sharing. I don’t do well when I’m put on the spot and have to share something so personal w/ more than just 2 people. But I thought I was ready and was actually looking forward to ‘story night’… that was until I opened my mouth.

I couldn’t get one sentence out before I was overcome w/ grief and pain. All I could say was, “I can’t do this” and immediately began crying. Eh. I was not prepared for it being that hard. But I was completely surprised by everyone’s understanding, patience and tenderness – drawing me out and helping me to continue.

So I fumbled through my story according to the 5 points we were to stick to:

1. your life growing up, specifically related to your relationship w/ your dad
2. when you came to know Christ
3. a kairos moment (a time in your life when your trajectory changed)
4. a ‘wound’ you carry
5. what you would want to do w/ your life if you had nothing holding you back

{I thought that was an interesting way to share your story by the way. I’m sure I’ll touch on each of these points in this blog at some point. And FYI, my kairos moment was actually this time in life I am sharing now through my mom’s cancer story. Once I finish that series, maybe I’ll take time to dwell on what that kairos actually was.}

So – back to that night. After sharing, everyone offered where they saw God’s fingerprint in my life and imparted wisdom and encouragement. Then, everyone gathered around me and prayed for my heart, my life, my family, and my marriage. It was truly humbling and overwhelming.

Deep Calls to Deep - Rita Springer

This song came to mind as someone uttered these very words while praying for me. Since then, my heart has not stopped singing this anthem. This song sums up that night for me:

Let the love of God release the captive
Let the love of God release the shameful
Let the love of God release healing in this place

Let your deep speak to my deep.

It was a very healing night for me and I’m so thankful to God for allowing me to feel the freedom and the love to share my story w/out feeling shame… to confess where I am in all of this and to hear, “Its ok.” My heart is filled w/ gratitude for experiencing this deep calling to deep.