Prior to diagnosis: Taking care of everyone

As I was reading through some emails from mom that year before she died, I was blown away by how much she was taking care of everyone.

Her life changed dramatically once she remarried. She ‘retired’ (can you retire at 45?) from the newspaper she had worked at for 17 yrs (she hadn’t not worked a day in her life since she was a child!). And she had moved out of her beloved ‘cabin’ – the home she had worked so hard to make ‘hers’ (that story to come later).

Now she was living in a strange home (that didn’t seem like hers) and not working. This was a very odd place for her to be. I could not picture my mom not working. I remember thinking of all the things she could do that she would be awesome at and wondering why she didn’t pursue anything. And now I realize why. She took up the full-time job of taking care of family. Compassion was one of her gifts and she directed that towards her family. If there was a need, she was there to fill it.

Her emails included going back and forth from hospitals to check on her father-in-law, visiting my aunt who almost died in childbirth, taking care of her mother-in-law, checking on her mother, dealing w/ my other aunt’s problems, cleaning up after my sister’s messes, learning how to be a godly stay-at-home wife and Nana, taking care of all my school stuff and being a sort of counselor for me and Ryan, taking different people back and forth from the doctor’s, making sure everyone had what they needed, etc, etc. It wore me out just to read everything she did and dealt w/.

Her biggest job was probably being full-time Nana. Email after email I would find little snippets about the girls. Most days included them in some way. My sister had just moved in a few houses down. So, not only was my mom taking care of her in-laws (who were her neighbors) but she was also taking care of my sis and her kids (who were now neighbors too). I think she liked them all living so close. I know she enjoyed being there for them. And I know they loved being so close to their Nana.

The girls really needed mom at that time. My sister was living a pretty crazy life and the girls were caught in the middle. My mom was a safe haven for them. When Savannah would get sick at school or have one of her many nose bleeds – they would call mom to pick her up, as she was responsible and always available. The girls spent many nights out of the week at mom’s and she would typically be the one carting Savannah to and from school. When I would talk to her, she’d be laying Cassidy down for her nap and later cooking them dinner. She was like a second mother to them.

Here are some of my favorite pics of mom w/ Savannah and Cassidy. It was right before the girls were going to bed and mom had given them some of her t-shirts to wear. Mom was playing w/ the camera and just taking pictures of them giggling in bed together.

Precious.